“Mummy, you’ve got a moustache.”
It was 6am on Monday morning. I’d been aware my newly-nine-year-old son was lying beside me in bed, willing me to get up.
“There’s this one dark hair. It’s short and it’s sticking up like a little wire. Let me pull it. There you go. It’s out. There are some more at the other side.”
He started laughing. “Mummy Moustachio.”
I muttered something about hormonal changes over his noises of hilarity.
Over breakfast, Monty announced his findings to his brothers and I was touched when Guthrie, five, disagreed.
“Mummy doesn’t have a moustache,” he said, “but she does have hair up her nose.”
Red carpet ready
Feeling, you know, super attractive, I went on the scales.
I’ve known for six months we’re going to Spain for a week in August. All that time to ease off the carbs at night, do sit ups and exercise. All that time to shift the stone. And? I’ve added a pound.
And yet, the boys like my softer stomach which they say is like a lovely pillow.
Looking at my white, dappled body in the mirror, tracing signs of said moustache with a tweezer, I wondered how I’d get ready – mentally or physically – for one of the most glamorous nights of the year. For I’d been invited to Pride of Scotland.
It’s amazing what a bit of fake tan and dressing up like a glitter ball can do for you. On the red carpet, I remembered how amazing this night is.
Pride of Scotland is the most joyous occasion, when you forget about the minutiae inside your head and celebrate what really matters – human bravery, kindness and resilience.
Pride of Scotland was an honour
I was sitting at a ‘property table’ with presenters from Scotland’s Home of the Year and A Place in the Sun. We bonded over our tears, watching award winners receive hugs and trophies from some of their favourite actors, comedians and presenters.
The night was about them. Cousins who formed a group where men could talk about their mental health; a son who honoured the memory of his dad who lost his life saving others at sea by raising money; children battling illness with Braveheart courage.
I felt humbled and honoured to be there.
The awards, so beautifully guided with empathy and wit, by Elaine C Smith and Sanjeev Kohli, was a triumph – as it was last year.
I’ll tell you all about it closer to the date in July when it airs on STV.
Make a date in your diary and ladies, if you’re wearing mascara, make sure it’s waterproof.
‘I hope you have a calmer summer’
“I enjoyed your piece in the Tele a few weeks ago about you running like a mad woman round Dundee, picking up your boys’ school things that had fallen out of the boot of your car,” emailed Rachel C.
“Then I laughed out loud because I realised, while stacking the dishwasher later that night, I’d seen you. I was on the way to pick up my daughter and remember seeing this woman sprinting across the road and holding her hands up in front of a van.
“I had my mind on making it to the school on time. You flashed by. In honesty, I thought you must be mad, drunk or both. But now I think about it, it was definitely you.
“I often wonder how mums seem to look so together and calm. It was nice to realise there are some running around like headless chickens too. I hope you have a calmer summer.”
You too Rachel, you too.
They say a definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
And so to being Scottish in June. Why am I full of optimism every year that days will be long and warm for weeks at a time? There were a few good days – and then it’s 12 degrees in Dundee, grey and raining.
Come on Summer. Give us a good run.
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