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JAMIE KINLOCHAN: Big Brother helped this lost Scottish boy find his place in the world

Jamie was a confused gay teenager when he watched builder Craig Philips, flanked by Darren Ramsey and Anna Nolan, win the first Big Brother.
Jamie was a confused gay teenager when he watched builder Craig Philips, flanked by Darren Ramsey and Anna Nolan, win the first Big Brother.

When Big Brother first hit our screens, I was 14, gay, and living between divorced parents in a small town.

It was a pretty lonely place to be.

So it’s not just nostalgia that makes me glad the show is coming back.

With news of its return, I hope we are in for a version of Big Brother that brings exciting, complex and diverse personalities back into our living rooms.

When the first housemates wheeled their silver suitcases into the Big Brother house in 2000, teachers weren’t allowed to talk about people being anything other than straight.

Representations of gay people on TV showed us as either the butt of a joke or someone to be avoided.

And I had no way of safely connecting to other people who were like me.

As a young teenager, telling people I was gay felt like a big risk.

I had been conditioned to think that sharing that piece of information would be like a bomb going off.

It was a weight to carry. It made the small town I lived in feel even smaller.

And I didn’t know where to find people who offered another point of view.

That’s why Big Brother will always be more than a TV show to me.

Big Brother contestants showed this gay teen he could be himself

I was hooked from the very first episode because it was a window into people who didn’t fit the mould.

Davins McCall in the diary room for Big Brother Four. Shutterstock.

It made me think that maybe, one day, I would belong somewhere too.

The first series of Big Brother was so gentle.

The housemates had to look after chickens, master the skill of pottery and learn how to communicate in Semaphore in order to win a full shopping budget.

They were encouraged to get to know one other by memorising facts and writing poetry.

I watched, every night without fail, as housemates stayed up late to chat and express genuine fascination about where one another had come from.

I loved Caroline, with her loud cackle, big hair and deliberate lip liner.

I loved that she would play the saxophone in the garden, cuddle her pals on the couch and stand up for herself when people said she was too much.

I loved Anna, the “lesbian ex nun”, whose gentle and kind manner was a world away from the tabloid fodder that suggested.

She approached everything thoughtfully and centred all of her interactions on how people were coping.

I enjoyed watching proud dad Darren talk about his children and seeing Nichola push the boundaries any time the chance arose.

When I needed it, those housemates provided immense comfort to me and many others.

George Galloway becomes ‘the cat’ to Rula Lenska’s master and a generation of Celebrity Big Brother viewers are scarred for life. Shutterstock.

They showed me that even though I was different – and even though that difference felt like a dangerous burden right now – there were brilliant people out there who would want to know me some day.

Big Brother showed me how my world could be

As a young gay man, I missed out on opportunities to learn about myself and socialise in the way my peers did.

While my friends were kissing boys at school discos, going on dates to the cinema and awkwardly introducing their new boyfriends to their parents, I was at home, unsure of how I’d get the chance to do the same.

That’s why to this gay Scottish teenager, the Big Brother house felt like a haven.

I learned how the world could be from the show.

Those first 11 housemates couldn’t have known it at the time.

But I think they showed a whole generation of people who needed to see it that being yourself and being loved were fully compatible.

It’s hard to imagine that post-pandemic, people would volunteer to spend months locked in a house with a small number of people, agree to limited contact with their loved ones and submit to an omnipotent force rationing their shopping down to the basics.

But they will.

And I hope the new group of Big Brother housemates will represent our diverse society, entertain us and give other marginalised people the chance to see themselves represented.


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