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JACQ KELLY: Write a bucket list? I really can’t be bothered

Writing a bucket list? Get in the bin.
Writing a bucket list? Get in the bin.

A story resurfaced in the news this week that caught my attention.

A man attempting to fulfil his bucket list got into trouble with the police.

Naturally I assumed that this was because having a bucket list is generally (and I stress generally) speaking, ridiculous.

Darrell Meekcom, 55, was arrested for mooning at a police speed camera – one of the items on his bucket list.

Well, the heart wants what the heart wants.

Darrell Meekcom does at least have a compelling reason to be working his way through a bucket list.

He was diagnosed with multiple system atrophy – a terminal condition – in October last year.

And so his wife suggested he draw up a list of things he wants to do before he dies.

That’s a sobering thought.

Of course, he wants to make the time he has left as meaningful as possible, and thankfully his list includes more than just flashing a speed camera.

He’s planning a visit to Disneyland with his wife and two daughters.

Darrell Meekcom on TV show This Morning.
Darrell Meekcom on TV show This Morning. Ken McKay/ITV/Shutterstock.

And I hope they make amazing memories there.

If you want to do something, do it

I have to also give him credit for having described his prank as ‘tongue in cheek’.

Deliberate pun or not, good work that man.

In light of Darrell Meekcom’s story, bucket lists that most of us will never get around to feel like the height of complacency.

My Aunty Connie turned 50 recently and told me that one of her bucket list items is to ride a horse.

We could do that tomorrow, but she isn’t ready yet (she said).

But nobody knows when options might start to fall away due to illness, disability, or death.

Disneyland Paris
Disneyland Paris – a more traditional bucket list goal.

Surely if the past few years has taught us anything, it should be to wear a mask, and wash your hands.

But very close behind that is that if you want to do something, don’t put it on a list; go and do it.

I spent the first few weeks of Lockdown: The First Wave lamenting all of the social events I’d binned off in the previous year because I opted for eating Doritos in bed and watching back-to-back Footballers’ Wives.

Bucket lists are New Year’s Resolutions with glitter on

Darrell’s story hit home because it underlined the feeling I’ve always held about bucket lists.

None of us really know how long we have to do the things that could enrich our lives, so waiting to do them makes no real sense.

Of course there might be things that you want to do that require planning and, oftentimes, money that needs to be saved.

I don’t really think of those as bucket list items.

They’re future plans and events to look forward to.

Bucket lists are basically New Year’s Resolutions with glitter on.

They are even bigger ambitions that you probably won’t get around to.

In a purely scientific experiment to prove my hypothesis, I just scrawled my bucket list on the back of an envelope.

Empty bucket list. Photo: Shutterstock

I’m now looking at a list of things I can’t really be bothered doing:

  • Write a novel (can’t be bothered)
  • Walk the Pyrenees (can’t be bothered)
  • Learn how to craft a small raft from driftwood collected along Fife beaches (can’t be bothered)
  • Learn to… (can’t even be bothered thinking of a last one).

Take each day as it comes

I suppose a bucket list might come in handy as something to put on your Tinder profile.

Have that suggestion for free, all of you, “I never know what to write here, lol,” people.

For folk like me, it’s a handy list of things it’s ok to procrastinate about because they don’t really matter all that much.

If they did, I’d have done them already.

Instead I take each day as it comes, one step at a time.

Of course, while this is very freeing, it means that I also haven’t got round to the things I should be doing.

Like saving for a pension, or taking my calcium every day, or having any kind of life plan whatsoever really.

But I’ll get round to them.

And I know that I will, because I didn’t write them on my bucket list.

Quite honestly, I hope I never need one.


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