Calendar An icon of a desk calendar. Cancel An icon of a circle with a diagonal line across. Caret An icon of a block arrow pointing to the right. Email An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of the Facebook "f" mark. Google An icon of the Google "G" mark. Linked In An icon of the Linked In "in" mark. Logout An icon representing logout. Profile An icon that resembles human head and shoulders. Telephone An icon of a traditional telephone receiver. Tick An icon of a tick mark. Is Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes. Is Not Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes with a diagonal line through it. Pause Icon A two-lined pause icon for stopping interactions. Quote Mark A opening quote mark. Quote Mark A closing quote mark. Arrow An icon of an arrow. Folder An icon of a paper folder. Breaking An icon of an exclamation mark on a circular background. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Caret An icon of a caret arrow. Clock An icon of a clock face. Close An icon of the an X shape. Close Icon An icon used to represent where to interact to collapse or dismiss a component Comment An icon of a speech bubble. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Ellipsis An icon of 3 horizontal dots. Envelope An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Home An icon of a house. Instagram An icon of the Instagram logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. Magnifying Glass An icon of a magnifying glass. Search Icon A magnifying glass icon that is used to represent the function of searching. Menu An icon of 3 horizontal lines. Hamburger Menu Icon An icon used to represent a collapsed menu. Next An icon of an arrow pointing to the right. Notice An explanation mark centred inside a circle. Previous An icon of an arrow pointing to the left. Rating An icon of a star. Tag An icon of a tag. Twitter An icon of the Twitter logo. Video Camera An icon of a video camera shape. Speech Bubble Icon A icon displaying a speech bubble WhatsApp An icon of the WhatsApp logo. Information An icon of an information logo. Plus A mathematical 'plus' symbol. Duration An icon indicating Time. Success Tick An icon of a green tick. Success Tick Timeout An icon of a greyed out success tick. Loading Spinner An icon of a loading spinner. Facebook Messenger An icon of the facebook messenger app logo. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Facebook Messenger An icon of the Twitter app logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. WhatsApp Messenger An icon of the Whatsapp messenger app logo. Email An icon of an mail envelope. Copy link A decentered black square over a white square.

GRAHAM GOULDEN: It’s up to us men to steer our boys out of harm’s way

Male role models can make all the difference.
Male role models can make all the difference.

Cast your mind back a few weeks to when Chloe Kelly scored the winning goal in extra time for England against Germany, securing a 2-1 win and the country’s first ever women’s major tournament victory.

In the minutes after the goal, social media was awash with posts saying what a powerful moment this was for women and girls.

I agree.

For me, the moment captured the potential for sport to be a catalyst for change.

In the days after the final, I reflected on this moment and wondered why we have so many women looking out for girls so visibly, but we don’t see a similar number of men having those kinds of aspirations for our young boys.

Surely our boys deserve better?

In the last few weeks, there have been three media stories which have rightly captured the news debate here in Scotland.

What hasn’t been discussed much within these stories is the role that men play in all of them.

Statistics don’t tell the whole story

When the drug death numbers for Scotland were released in July, the focus was on the total of deaths.

The story became a political football for many with little or no attention being focused on the fact that around 70% of drug deaths involve men.

Likewise, when the suicide statistics for Scotland were released, again the focus was on numbers, not the fact that three out of four suicides in Scotland involved men.

And lastly, the release of deaths caused by alcohol in Scotland was again dominated by political parties and individuals criticising responses.

Men accounted for two-thirds of alcohol deaths in Scotland.

As in the other stories, men featured disproportionately.

Two thirds of the deaths caused by alcohol involved men.

And again, little or no discussion took place on this.

When we simply look at numbers, we fail to look at risk factors.

Looking at men doesn’t mean we ignore women in these statistics.

We need to consider how to reduce harms to everyone.

But we also need to be smarter and to ask some uncomfortable questions.

Such as – why do boys and men feature disproportionately in these stories?

When we don’t, we fail men and the boys who will continue to die until we have these conversations.

Male role models can help show the way

As a society we need to get better at looking out for each other.

But I also feel we need to be ever mindful of the risks that boys and men face.

There’s a clear role for us to be the male role models that our boys look up to and are inspired by.

Whether you are a parent, a teacher, a sports coach, or a male sporting hero you have a role in helping our boys.

As men we are the guideposts for the next generation.

Uplift and inspire – the challenge for male role models. Shutterstock.

We need to learn to better notice the challenges we face as men – and work to provide the skills that will help boys overcome them.

As men, we can help them develop their character.

We can speak to them about what they stand for, their values as an individual.

I call this their brand. And we can help them build their brand, their presence.

Your greatest superpower is your presence.

Character matters.

Channel the power of healthy relationships

Anyone working with or living with young boys needs to be thinking about the skills they need to become healthy and emotionally strong men.

How we help provide these skills will go a long way to reducing suicide, drug, and alcohol addiction for the long term.

For me, those skills would include finding and keeping friends, knowing it is ok to ask for help, being able to walk away from negative peer influence and being strong and gentle at the appropriate time.

They would also include taking responsibility, understanding the feelings of others and self (emotional intelligence), controlling anger, and keeping healthy and strong.

You know better than me the young boys and men you live or work with.

Invest in the relationships you have with them.

I learned many things in my policing career. But it was the power of the healthy relationship that stuck with me most.

It’s in these relationships that the magic happens.

It’s here we can make a real difference. Both in helping our boys in their lives and in reducing the many social issues that impact negatively on men and on wider society.


Graham Goulden is an experienced leadership and violence prevention trainer. For 30 years he was a Scottish police officer and chief investigator specialising in criminal investigation, drug investigation, training and crime prevention.

Conversation