There’s an old maths joke.
It goes something like:
Teacher: You have 10 dogs and somebody asks for two. How many do you have left?
Me: 10
Teacher: Ok but what do you have if someone takes two of your dogs?
Me: 10 dogs and a body
The dog owners among us will appreciate the sentiment entirely.
And after working on a new documentary about dog thefts for The Courier, it’s a subject that’s even more close to my heart.
In my 36 years on this planet there have been just eight months when there wasn’t a dog in my life
From the mid-80s there were Squib and Rusty, my grandparents’ spaniels, and Kiara, a retired Guide Dog who spent her final year or so living with them.
Then after a brief lacuna – in which my grandparents swore “no more dogs” – they bought a springer spaniel puppy, Kila, in 1991.
She was with them for 15 years.
Then came my dad’s spaniel Tot, followed by his black lab Dubh.
From Dubh, a truly exceptional dog, we had a litter of nine puppies.
Dad kept Rory and I got my first dog of my very own, Ruby.
I’ve owned Ruby since she was minutes old.
With her ginger coat I can pick her out in every photo from that time.
She is now nearly 11 and I can honestly say I doubt I will ever have such a strong bond with any other dog.
She’s been with me through some major milestones – graduation, marriage and even helped me announce the impending arrival of my son by way of her habit of stealing socks.
They also now have their own unshakable bond.
That’s what makes dog thefts so much worse than any other kind of theft.
If someone steals my smart phone or my car, I would curse the inconvenience but after a short time I would move on and get a new one.
My phone, or car, or any other possession wouldn’t suffer for being parted from me.
Not so Ruby. No matter how kind an abductor was – and they are unlikely to be – she would suffer from the separation.
She is not the inanimate object the law presumes her to be.
Some argue new legislation is needed to reflect these modern sensibilities.
Others say the way forward is to strengthen sentencing guidelines, without introducing a new offence.
They say victim impact statements could be used to inform judges on the mental anguish caused.
Regardless of the mechanism used to achieve it, the law must recognise the true value pets have to their owners.
