Lorraine Kelly has been in the media game long enough to know that when it comes to handling haters, laughing with them is a fool proof strategy.
We are often told, as children, to ignore bullies until they get bored.
But as adults, we find that the only sure fire way to neutralise a joke made at one’s expense is to laugh along.
It takes the sting out of it, for the bullied; and the power out of it, for the bully.
And Lorraine’s ability to laugh at herself came in handy during a Twitter exchange this week which saw Ms Kelly take the high road and come out on top.
On Wednesday, one viewer decided to take time out of their day to type out how ‘awful’ Lorraine’s hair was looking, how it was time for a ‘makeover’ and a ‘short cut’.
And not content with posting such an unprovoked, mean-spirited comment on the Internet, they tagged the journalist directly, so she would see it and respond.
Like the champ that she is, Lorraine Kelly handled it beautifully – calling out the nasty tweet, but killing the viewer with kindness by wishing her a ‘good morning’, and taking the power back by joking that ‘when I have short hair I look like Wilson from Castaway’.
Well good morning Cathy – only problem – when I have short hair I look like Wilson from “Castaway “ (if you know you know) https://t.co/TsCJQWLpVO
— Lorraine (@reallorraine) March 1, 2023
Safe to say, cheeky Cathy was well ‘telt’ – so much so that no one reading this need go and pile on now. That’s not the point of this column, and it wouldn’t be helpful.
Lorraine Kelly can rise above catty comments – but why make them?
The point is that no matter how expertly Lorraine handed nasty Cathy’s behind to her, she shouldn’t have had to.
Lorraine Kelly looks great, and it would seem, from her confidently self-deprecating response, that she knows it. I hope she does.
But snide remarks like these don’t just affect the person they’re aimed at.
They betray outdated, harmful attitudes around beauty and body image that many women (including Cathy, I’d wager) are working hard to unlearn.
And this type of ‘surprised no one has told her’ woman-on-woman critique is something we still see all too much of, even in this age of body neutrality and heightened sensitivity.
It is cattiness, plain and simple, couched in flimsy justifications of ‘just looking out for’ fellow women, or being the ‘brutally honest friend’.
But there are questions everyone should consider before making a remark on someone else’s appearance: If your honesty requires brutality, is it really a virtue?
Are you going to help more than hurt with this comment?
Did anyone actually ask?
Because often, these ‘brutally honest’ remarks are just tell-tale signs of internalised misogyny.
Build up, don’t tear down
By ‘just pointing out’ to other women your perceived ‘flaws’ in their appearance, you’re not only being cruel and thoughtless, you’re encouraging the idea that there’s a standard of beauty that women ought to meet in order to be heard and taken seriously.
Would you say the same about a man doing his job? No. So why are you saying it about her?
Why would you say it about yourself?
Likewise, the collective chiding of fellow women over 50 for having long hair stinks of ageism.
I’ve heard it all my life, from ladies whispering in church about ‘mutton dressed as lamb’ to my own granny watching the telly.
“She’s needing to get that chopped off,” they’d say about someone they don’t even know. “Who does she think she’s fooling?”
Thinner or greying hair is nothing to be ashamed of, it’s simply a part of life. As are cellulite, acne, wrinkles or fat.
If you as a woman cannot find these things beautiful, or even abide them in yourself, that’s your battle.
But if you choose to tear down other women instead of tearing down the ridiculous standards that entrap us all, I suggest you take a good, long look at yourself in the mirror.
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