There are things that happen in a marriage that are hard to overcome.
An affair, growing apart or uncovering lies can often be too much to get over and relationships end.
But not until a friend posted on a WhatsApp group did I consider one particular set of circumstances – a situation from which surely the strongest of couples would struggle to recover.
I give you my great school friend Sarah Jane Elsner from Arbroath, who married a German called Sebastian – or Basti for short.
No, that’s not the tough bit.
He’s lovely, they’re a great match and they have their own lovely family – son James and daughter Carlotta.
So far, so tickety-boo.
The crunch time came when they… wait for it… attended the Germany v Scotland game together. Can you imagine?
Sarah-Jane – a mad Dundee United fan, who’s a talented player herself (awarded Oxford Uni’s highest honour a Blue for playing) and a die-hard Scotland fan – and handsome Hamburger (genuinely, he’s from Hamburg where they now live) Basti in his lederhosen.
And that performance, that result, that heartbreak.
Basti shouting ‘ja’ and ‘hurrah’, punching the air to cries of ‘Der Tor!’ (goal) five times – dwarfing Scotland’s celebrations of one goal scored by mistake and also by a German player.
Sarah-Jane like the rest of us was heartbroken and utterly deflated.
Unlike the rest of us, she found no solace in a fellow depressed Scot at her side, but the unabashed joy of her husband singing in unison with his country folk, having the time of his life – as she watched her team bottle it.
Tartan Army launched a friendly invasion
Even the German manager at the end scratched his head when interviewed and wondered where Scotland’s fight was.
It had to be tough. Almost impossible.
And yet, she smiled through her pain when she saw the Tartan Army applaud their opposition with dignity and respect.
She travelled to every Scotland game and watched Germany fall in love with the Scottish fans.
“So much alcohol,” she texted, “and no trouble at all. The Scotland fans are amazing. I’m so proud. It’s unbelievable here.”
Sarah’s brother Iain brought a bit more luck when he flew from Scotland to join her for the Switzerland draw. Another brother John came over for a spell too.
On this note, SJ has four older brothers who used to make her go in goals when she was wee. And batter the ball at her.
She’s hard as nails.
You might have sampled their family’s Arbikie vodka, whisky or gin made on the family estate near Arbroath.
The following day, the German press declared they were willing Scotland to win against Hungary because they didn’t want our fans to leave their country.
Germany had never seen the likes before – an estimated four per cent of our nation flying in for a Tartan Army friendly invasion of their cities, with images of kilted fans walking elderly residents across the road, buying locals pints and generally doing us proud, draw, lose or lose.
Scotland fans are the best
That final loss was in the last minute of play against Hungary.
Same old Scotland, breaking our hearts.
And yet, as one friend put it, posting a picture with their son on Facebook after that final wounding: ‘Despite the football, this has been the best 12 days of my life. Thank you Germany’.
And other pals at Fan Zone on Riverside said they had a ball. Thanks to organisers for bringing the party to Dundee.
Can you imagine a special edition Gogglebox of Scotland fans watching from home?
Doubting there would have been a full minute pass without a bleeped out expletive?
You could argue that Scotland the team were at least there to to give the experience.
This column could have torn that team to shreds and lamented one of the worst performers (possibly the worst in comparison to actual potential – that’s the awful bit, we can dance with the best on our day) of the tournament.
But our fans were hands-down the best.
We sang when there was nothing to sing about and found humour when there was none.
And we’d do it all again because loyalty and love for our country is unshakable – as well as our thirst for a good time.
Just imagine if we had something to sing about.
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