We were three drinks into a girls’ night out in the DCA when I noticed something about my friend.
‘What is it?’ She said. ‘You’re looking at me funny.’
I told her she just looked great – youthful.
“You mean that deep line on my forehead’s gone.”
“Well kind of,” I admitted.
“Not that it was super noticeable.”
“What? You could rest a pencil in it,” she laughed.
“Botox. I popped into the place in the Overgate and now I don’t look like I’m constantly angry.”
Another friend overheard. “Botox? Me too. Every six months for a top up. I think I just look a bit more rested.”
It got me thinking. I’m of a stage and age where a bit of help would not go amiss.
I looked at my friends and they looked good – not weird, or even that they’d had anything noticeably done. More power to them. They are paying for something that’s available and it makes them feel good.
But the concern surely is for women 20 years younger who started barely out their teens. Take Love Island.
The young women are beautiful, but many have noticeably changed their faces.
Some have frozen expressions which I’d imagine are the result of too much Botox.
Aged 20-something.
Some also have plumped top lips ranging wildly in subtlety and I keep looking at one of the ITV2 contestants to figure out if she’s had cheek implants and if she has, why?
I may sound out of touch. After all, it’s just fashion. Some people actively want to look like they’ve had work done. But what happens when it’s out of fashion? What does one do with the sticky out lips and cartoon eyebrows?
What happens when botox goes out of fashion?
And if you start at 20, where on earth do you end up on a mums’ night out two decades on? You might be having a great time, but who’ll be able to tell?
Far from being judgmental, I was part of the early movement some two decades ago when in my mid twenties, someone told me I had a thin top lip.
The plump, bee-stung look was desirable and I booked into an Edinburgh clinic with a good reputation. Except the doctor used a full vial of liquid instead of the half that would have been more than enough for my small mouth.
I looked ridiculous, like I had the biggest pudding lip. I told people I’d had work done in the dentist. I was embarrassed. As it died down, I liked the effect but never booked in again and it was back to normal after a year or so.
Are Love Island contestants channelling Dorian Gray?
It’s nothing new, the human desire to hold onto beauty and youth. I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently and funnily enough, I’m rereading my favourite novel – the Picture of Dorian Gray and it couldn’t be more pertinent.
Some 134 years ago, Oscar Wilde’s titular character Dorian said: “When one loses one’s good looks, whatever they may be, one loses everything,” and “Youth is the only thing worth having.”
Whereas Dorian’s deal with a dark force kept him young and beautiful in person, his portrait rotted and aged as he lived a life of desire and sin – now we are able to change our aesthetics.
There are fillers, plumpers, Botulinum Toxin (Botox) , cheek implants, bum implants, tattooed eyebrows, facelifts, peels – and much more.
But somewhere below it all, our actual ageing selves exist.
Still, in moderation, at the right time and done well, it can just make you feel and look like a better version of yourself. Like you’ve had an amazing facial or are just back from holiday.
I couldn’t decide.
And so, I brought it up – in a round about kind of way – to Jamie and he said: “You know I’d never tell you what to do. But would you mind never getting Botox?”
He smiled. “I’ve known you since we were five. I like your face. I don’t want it to change. I mean, I know it will with time – but it will still be you.”
I know, pass the sick bucket. But it’s possibly my most favourite thing he’s ever said to me.
Because – like an awful lot of other halves, I don’t look the way, in face or body, that I did during – as Wilde might say – that initial falling in love and courtship. And sometimes you feel a bit lame. Reassurance of abiding love is lovely.
And so the decision has been made. I’m a bit scared of it all anyway.
I’ll just have to rock the frazzled, ageing look as best I can.
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