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MARTEL MAXWELL: Why Dundee school reunion is on my mind

'I have one friend who could think of nothing worse, even though I only ever remember him being popular and having fun.'

Martel Maxwell and school friends.
Martel Maxwell and school friends.

It’s 3am and I am gripped by something I need to know.

Bathed in the blue light of my phone, I search for information.

“What are you doing?” my husband says, woken from his sleep.

“Remember Vicky from school?” I say. “I was wondering what she does now.”

He thinks – not for the first time – I’ve gone mad.

Maybe it’s because a few old school pals have mentioned our 30th anniversary is this summer – and that we should get together – that it’s on my mind.

In milliseconds, there were the results for Vicky from school.

It can be trickier finding out about women as often they marry and change their names.

This particular Vicky also appeared to share her name with a famous person.

But there she was – a primate researcher, studying apes and chimpanzees – a respected voice who has published many articles on all sorts.

Take her findings on how chimpanzees play Chinese whispers.

I did – and thoroughly enjoyed it before fluffing my pillow and going back to sleep, thinking how you don’t really get that option at the careers talks at school.

“And here’s Victoria, who’s going to tell us how to study chimps.”

‘Hands shaking’

Without meaning to sound like I went to sleep in 1995 when we left school and have only woken now – but is the internet not just off-the-scale phenomenal?

What would our 18-year-old selves make of it?

That we could message to say we’d be ten minutes late and could we meet at Tally’s as opposed to The Globe?

That we could FaceTime a first serious boyfriend, nervous and heart a-flutter, while on a family holiday in the summer?

That we could see everyone’s pictures of the school dance on a screen on a thing called Facebook?

Martel at High School of Dundee.

No more calling an 01382 number with old-school five digits, hands shaking as you asked a boy’s mum or dad if you could speak to him, replaced simply with a “hey” or waving emoji from your mobile phone to his.

And yet, it’s not all wondrous.

Kids can’t switch off when they have a screen and can contact friends.

And they are often too young to handle it – falls outs and misunderstandings common place as they navigate the emotions of friendships.

Summer reunion in Dundee pub

A government study in England and Wales in 2020 – and you’d imagine findings would be similar in Scotland – showed almost nine in ten children aged 10 to 15 years said they went online every day.

While the majority said they only spoke to people online they knew in person, around one in six them spoke with someone they had never met before in the previous 12 months.

News sites – locally or nationally, on any given day – tell us of the dangers of the internet.

Maybe my generation is lucky not to have grown up with it and maybe this is something we’ll discuss at a summer reunion.

“I think we should do it,” one friend said. “Get loads of us. Do the tour round the school and book a restaurant or pub in Dundee afterwards for everyone.”

But would everyone come?

School reunions don’t half split the crowd.

Friends who can’t be there

I have one friend who could think of nothing worse, even though I only ever remember him being popular and having fun.

Speaking to a friend’s mum about her own reunion a few years ago to mark 50 years since leaving school, she said it was far better than she’d expected.

Summaries of lives now included grandchildren and retirement plans.

Everyone seemed more chilled, with no points to prove or accomplishments to show off.

They were just happy to be there and see old faces.

Maybe it’s the journalist in me, but I like going into a room and knowing bits about people – being briefed if you like.

Martel on Homes Under the Hammer.

It’s always nice to think someone has thought of you.

Sadly, as with most school years, there have been losses – in ours I know that Rory, Caroline and Daniel are sadly no longer here.

Rory was the sharpest boy in the playground, with a dry sense of humour and razor-sharp wit.

Caroline had legs like a gazelle, tall and smart – as was Daniel. Super intelligent with a gentle warmth.

Meeting up is about catching up and also to remember those who can’t be there.

A glass will be raised to them.

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