Like Gregg Wallace, you have probably encountered thousands of people over the course of your working life.
How many times has a formal complaint of sexual harassment been made against you?
Once? Twice? Thirteen times?
Most working people can easily make it to retirement age without any of their colleagues reporting them to HR for walking around the workplace with only a sock covering their penis.
The BBC is facing questions as it emerged allegations of inappropriate behaviour against the MasterChef star, including sexual harassment, date back as far as 2012.
The news comes after an investigation into his behaviour heard from 13 women working across five different television programmes.
At the weekend, Wallace posted a video hitting back at the accusations, saying they had come from a “handful of middle-class women of a certain age” [he later apologised for this remark].
He also said he has worked with thousands of people over his years in television who haven’t complained about him.
But the women he has worked with who have not made allegations about inappropriate behaviour don’t erase the ones that have.
‘Out-of-the-blue bit of sexual harassment’
Over the weekend, I saw commentary criticising the women who came forward, asking that age-old question: why did it take her so long to report it?
We now know many did report at the time, and broadcasters didn’t take any meaningful action.
Some waited until others had reported similar experiences before sharing their own.
This isn’t at all surprising.
Of all the harms, humiliations and injustices that happen to women, sexual harassment is something placed in the ‘low-level’ category.
That’s not to say it isn’t upsetting and unpleasant – it is.
But it’s hard enough for women to get justice when serious crimes are committed against them, let alone for incidents involving a lecherous man using his position of power to make them feel uncomfortable.
I don’t think some men realise just how discombobulating it is to receive an out-of-the-blue bit of sexual harassment when you’re going about your day.
You might think you would call it out right there and then, stand up for yourself or demand to speak to the person’s superior.
But it often doesn’t play out like that.
Supermarket incident
Last year, I was at the self-scanners at the supermarket and asked one of the staff for help putting through a dress.
Just as I was just about to leave, he drawled at me: “You’ve certainly got the figure for it…”
His eyes crawled up and down my body as he said it. Bold as brass.
His manner wasn’t flirtatious or playful. He wasn’t smiling.
It was so out of place for the setting and so weird and intense that I instinctively laughed and walked away.
It took a few seconds for my brain to catch up and by that point I was at the door.
I thought about going back in and telling him directly that he was a creep.
I briefly toyed with the idea of phoning up to make a complaint.
But I decided not to, because in the grand scheme of things it really wasn’t that big a deal.
I read The Courier’s interview with Fife chef Dean Banks at the weekend.
Banks previously appeared on MasterChef: The Professionals with Wallace and says the presenter “put people at ease” on the show.
He didn’t defend Wallace against the allegations – which include undressing in front of production staff – but he did say that with so many people sharing their negative experiences, it’s “fair to share the positives as well”.
‘Women criticised for response to men’s bad behaviour’
When we’re talking about allegations like these, it’s important to remember that positive interactions don’t disprove negative ones.
Forget about Gregg Wallace for a minute.
Even in serious cases involving men’s violence against women, you will always be able to find a friend or colleague who says they are shocked by the news because he was always “so nice” to them.
It’s not surprising that in the wake of the news about the investigation into the presenter’s behaviour, many women have taken to social media to share their own negative experiences working with them.
These stories should be judged not only by the crude words used or the jokes allegedly told, but by the context in which they were delivered and received.
Something that might be funny between two close friends on a night out takes on an entirely new meaning when it happens in a workplace, between a powerful TV star and a woman either working at or appearing on his show as a contestant.
Women are constantly questioned and criticised for their responses to men’s bad behaviour.
If the perpetrators of that behaviour were the focus of our ire rather than the people they are alleged to have made feel uncomfortable, perhaps we wouldn’t see this same story repeating itself time and time again.
Conversation