“We’re too old for strippers,” was the consensus of our Hen Committee.
A group of four tasked with organising the final hurrah before walking down the aisle of my Dundee school pal, Zoe.
I say consensus – I wasn’t so sure.
Was it really so cringe?
In our 40s we may be, but it couldn’t all be wine tasting with cheese pairing.
The tasteful weekend away had surely to be interspersed with a few aubergine-shaped straws and tumblers to make it an old school hen.
I was reminded of this conversation when this week I finally joined the millions of Brits who watched the Christmas special of Gavin and Stacey, billed as the final episode.
More than 12 million tuned in, marking the highest Christmas Day overnight figure for 16 years – since 2008, when Wallace & Gromit special A Matter of Loaf and Death captivated 14.3 million.
Many factors point to its success – the humour, perfect casting, warmth, storylines – and one key ingredient… its ability to reflect real life and refusal to conform.
While swathes of programmes go woke, watching what characters say and do to represent a vocal minority, there Nessa is smoking a real cigarette and vaping at the same time.
And a scene which resonated particularly – Stacey’s surprise booking of a stripper to Sonia’s somewhat staid hen do.
Smithy’s pals Stacey, Nessa, Pam and Dawn were up for it – laughing with delight.
The larger contingent – Sonia’s friends – were appalled, with the bride-to-be demanding the striptease end, horrified by the half-naked man dancing in front of her.
“Stop, stop, stop. It’s not that kind of hen. We’re just not the kind of people who…”
“Objectify men,” her friend said to finish off her the sentence.
Most disappointed of all perhaps was the man who had to halt proceedings, gather his clothes and head for the door.
The scene was arguably balanced, for it showed the for and against camps.
But put that question to the millions watching – whose camp they’d be in – and I’d wager the majority would view it as harmless fun, giving a nod to a tradition of generations before.
For who was being objectified? The stripper? It’s a choice of job he most probably loves given no one is making him do it and it pays handsomely.
And yet – is it the same when you reverse the sexes and think of a stripper at a stag do? Men are more likely to end a night in a strip bar and from my experience that’s an entirely different story.
As a reporter in London, I’d be invited to Stringfellows by the legendary club owner Peter Stringfellow, a master at creating publicity.
The girls seemed happy enough but there was a different feeling in his flagship London club. Men were there not to have a giggle but pay for a private dance and drink.
As for Spearmint Rhinos, another famous lap dancing club, I thought the atmosphere was toxic and the women in competition with each other.
Is it sexist of me to believe there is a difference in mentality between male and female stripper? That there can be fundamental differences between women and men?
I say “can be” because it’s a sweeping generalisation to attach seediness to men – for many men hate the thought of watching a stripper. Or is my opinion valid because I’ve experienced the atmosphere around both?
I had a stripper at my hen in Dublin. It was awesome, tongue in cheek and fun and frankly, that’s exactly how I wanted my hen do to roll.
Back to Zoe’s hen. There was no need to worry about it being too civilised. We decided to think about what she would like. While she may have found an actual stripper embarrassing – we settled on Butlers in the Buff to serve up drinks in the house we’d booked.
Full length aprons to the front, the hint of bottoms to the rear. The perfect compromise between grown up and cheeky. The two young men engaged with us, laughed and said they loved their part-time job.
We saw the funny side. We posted it up with a wine tasting with cheese pairing conducted by one of our number Amy, but we also drank prosecco from irregularly-shaped straws – and we all agreed it was the best hen ever.
Why? Because everyone did exactly as they chose. Everyone had a voice and we respected each other and thought about what the Hen would want.
Stacey and co may have made up the minority of the TV hen that wanted some giddy, daft, harmless fun but judging by the phenomenal success of BBC1’s Gavin and Stacey – we’re voting with our feet to say we believe in the freedom of choice and expression.
We want to have fun, to laugh and see ourselves reflected on TV; not that preachy minority.
Viewing figures don’t lie.
Happy New Year pals. May 2025 bring you all the fun.
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