Roarie Deacon admits he is determined to enjoy every second of his time at Dundee after coming close to packing in football for good.
The 25-year-old started his career as a youth at Arsenal but after moves to Sunderland and Stevenage, he found himself struggling for game time at Crawley.
Frustrated, he even considered quitting but a move to non-league Sutton United rekindled his love for the game and now he is simply relishing playing in the Scottish Premiership and huge matches against the likes of Celtic and Rangers.
Deacon, who will be in boss Neil McCann’s squad for today’s visit to Kilmarnock, said: “I thought about quitting football a couple of years ago before I went to Sutton United.
“I was at Crawley and wasn’t playing so I wasn’t enjoying it much. I was thinking about what I’d do when my contract was finished.
“So I went into the summer not really knowing what to do. I did think about life outside football but, to be honest, I didn’t have a clue what I would do for a career!
“Luckily the offer from Sutton came in, I talked it through with my agent and my family and we decided I should go for it.
“It turned out to be the best thing for me because we had a great season, did well in the FA Cup obviously and that got me my move here in the end.
“So from thinking about maybe giving up being a professional footballer, I have ended up in the top league in Scotland playing against clubs like Celtic and Rangers.”
Deacon, who joined Dundee in June, added: “That shows you should never give up in this game because you don’t know what is round the corner.
“Sometimes you need to take one or two steps back before you can take one forward and that’s what happened for me.
“I took a step back into the Conference and that was the springboard for me getting to the Scottish Premiership.
“I’m so relieved I didn’t quit because I love playing football and getting so close to that really makes me appreciate things more.
“I appreciate every second I play football now because of the thoughts that went through my head.
“I was close to giving up but I didn’t and that has made me much more mentally strong than I was before because I know what’s possible if you just keep working hard.”
While relishing being involved in big games up here, Deacon admitted he certainly did not enjoy being beaten 4-0 by Celtic on Wednesday night in the Betfred Cup quarter-final.
Now, he is hoping the Dark Blues can put that result behind them and make it back-to-back Premiership victories by beating Killie at Rugby Park.
Deacon added: “It was good to play against Celtic because those are the kind of games you want to play in.
“I didn’t start the match, which is always disappointing, but I came on with long enough to go.
“We were disappointed because we played well but didn’t take our chances and they punished us.
“That has been the story in a few games but I think we are getting better, the performances have been good.
“There has only been one game we haven’t performed in and the gaffer has been telling us we’re playing well.
“We just haven’t had the luck with a few decisions in games.
“Saturday at Kilmarnock is a big one for us because we need another three points.
“Everyone knows what is at stake for us because we want to build momentum after getting a win last weekend.”
Dundee will be without suspended skipper Darren O’Dea while striker Sofien Moussa is an injury doubt.
