St Johnstone forward Josh McPake has admitted that his attitude let him down earlier in his career.
But teenage immaturity has been banished and the former Rangers man hopes to reap the rewards of a more professional mindset at McDiarmid Park.
McPake has sucked up the disappointment of signing for Saints in the summer and not yet being given a Premiership start.
And he has channelled it into making sure that he’ll be ready to take his chance when it does come.
“It’s obviously been a really frustrating time for me,” said the 23-year-old, who scored as a second half substitute against Dundee last weekend.
“For any footballer, it would be.
“It did come as a bit of a shock. It was gradual. I started coming on for less time and then not coming on at all.
“It was a bit of a shock to the system.
“But I’ve just had that focus that my chance will come.
“The main thing I’ve done is worked hard. I haven’t downed tools at all.
“I’ve kept my fitness sky high, still doing everything properly. I’m in here every single day, doing extras after training.
“Football can flip like a coin and you don’t know what’s round the corner.
“Over the years, that’s something I’ve learned.
“When I was at Rangers, I had a lot of loans. Some went well, some went badly.
“Maybe when I was younger, a teenager, if things didn’t go my way then I’d kind of down tools a wee bit – go in huffs and not be too happy with myself or the manager.
“But I’ve learned from all that now. That’s the wrong thing to do.
“There’s no one to blame but me. I went out on loan and when stuff wasn’t going my way I didn’t react properly.
“I know that now looking back. That was me as a young boy, I can’t go back and change it.
“The only thing I can do now is look forward instead of looking back all the time.
“I speak to the older boys all the time – the likes of Barry (Douglas), Graham (Carey), Drey (Wright). They give me the advice to stick in there and work hard.
“That’s the only way you’re going to get back in. If you chuck it, the only person you’re hurting is yourself.”
Impact against Dundee
When McPake got on to the pitch for the first time in over a month as a 58th minute substitute on Sunday, he didn’t feel inhibited. The exact opposite in fact.
“For me, personally, it was a chance,” he reflected. “We’re 3-0 down, we’ve not done the best that day and I get an opportunity that I’ve maybe not had in recent months.
“I went on and just tried my best.
“We didn’t have much to lose so I felt it was a bit of a chance for me to show what I could bring to the team, to the gaffer, to the fans and to my team-mates.
“So, I just thought I’ll give it a right shot.
“Even though I’ve not played for a while, fitness-wise I wasn’t worried as I do a lot myself.
“That wasn’t in the back of my head, it was just about taking the opportunity.
“Sometimes I am guilty of playing with the handbrake on, being safe in myself rather than expressing myself.
“The more opportunities I get, the more comfortable I’ll be on the park, the more comfortable I’ll be on the ball, the more chances I’ll get to show what I can do.
“Being at Rangers, a massive club, you’re expected to win, to keep the ball.
“You are a wee bit safe sometimes.
“I feel I need to let go of that handbrake and go full throttle instead of playing with the handbrake on.
“I’ve got faith in myself – so why not go out and there and show everyone else what I can do?”
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