“Yo, yo, yo, welcome to one’s crib.
“Lay down your stripey brolly, kick off your two-tone patent leather spikes and settle your v-neck jumper/ comfortable slacks-clad ass on one’s vintage chaise longue.”
Coming up isn’t mega-rich and will, therefore, not be party to the greeting which will be hollered by a genuine member of British aristocracy when she throws open the doors of her castle to paying guests during the Ryder Cup.
But we like to think it will be something along those lines.
For the right price, an exclusive Perthshire pad could be yours, including butler, chef and private heli-pad.
And unlike those crass Hollywood homes of the nouveau-riche, this one has proper British add-ons like a cricket pitch and shootin’and fishin’ rights.
In Friday’s Courier, we reveal which palatial home is being offered for rent for the very first time.
We also cast ahead to a pretty huge event happening a golf drive away and ponder whether it could be a victim of the weather.
With storms and pebble-sized hailstones predicted, will the neon-clad 80s worshippers at Rewind be singin’ in the rain or walking on sunshine?
We also caught up with secret student, Liam Blair, from Crieff.
The psychology graduate has led a double life for the past four years in a bid to prevent his mum knowing he had enrolled at Dundee University.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=PoWInd_Nfac%3Frel%3D0
Video emerged of the moment he revealed his duplicity on graduation day and we share it with you here, with the full story in Friday’s paper.
The office has been strangely quiet and we’ve worked out why all our sports reporters are on the road.
We have full coverage from the Open and from Switzerland where St Johnstone kick off their European campaign.
For all this and so much more see Friday’s Courier or step inside and try our digital edition.