A Perth resident was not sure whether to laugh or cry after being nominated Scotland’s most accident-prone man.
Douglas McCorquodale reached the pinnacle of clumsiness when he went to hospital for a patch after injuring his eye spray painting only to then break his arm toppling in to a hole on the way out of accident and emergency.
On another occasion the retired postman spent a night in hospital after falling out of the back of his van and knocking himself unconscious.
And in another incident the 63-year-old was seriously burnt after smothering himself with cooking oil instead of sun cream on an Italian beach.
Proving his clumsiness is for all seasons, Mr McCorquodale then fell through ice on a frozen pond near Perth.
Meanwhile, fed-up wife Jill issued him with a DIY ban after he built a worktop which collapsed under the weight of a kettle full of boiling water an incident which led to yet another trip to Perth Royal Infirmary.
The remarkable catalogue of disasters has left Mr McCorquodale in the running to be named Scotland’s most accident-prone person an award which is accompanied by a cheque for £1000.Hospital treatmentHis rivals are five women who between them can count 200 accidents in the last five years 50 of them requiring hospital treatment.
The contest’s organisers, accident management firm Accident Claims Scotland (ACS), revealed 4000 Scots are taken to A&E every day.
While the stats may shock most, they hold absolutely no surprises for Mr McCorquodale.
“I am so accident prone my file at Perth Royal Infirmary must be huge,” he said.
“They know my name in A&E as I must have been there a dozen times.
“One of my most memorable accidents involved getting some dirt in my eye.
“I visited A&E and they gave me an eye patch. However, it didn’t end there. As I was walking out of the hospital I managed to fall in an enormous hole that had been dug by workmen.
“I had to turn around and walk straight back into the hospital, where it turned out I had broken my arm.”
It is not just Mr McCorquodale himself who has suffered as a result of his clumsiness.Burning”I once put a screwdriver in my back pocket and tore our new leather settee,” he said.
“I then jumped up and dropped a cigarette, burning the carpet.”
And if he does win the title, Mr McCorquodale knows where the cash will be going.
“I entered the competition in the hope that if I win I will be able to use the money to take my wife on holiday to repay her for all the time she spends driving me to A&E and visiting me in hospital.”
Mrs McCorquodale nominated her husband for the title and insisted he thoroughly deserves the dubious accolade.
“We got married in 1968 and I seem to have spent the last 42 years running him to and from the hospital,” she said.
“I have banned him from using tools around the house and DIY is out of the question after the incident with the boiling water he took off like a scalded cat.
“He is okay with wallpaper, but anything involving a hammer or nails, no.”
Among his rivals for the title is Debbie Scott (26) from Aberdeen, whose 15 major accidents have made her such an expert with fractures she has taken up a PhD in bone and musculoskeletal research.