MAY 17.
It’s been written on the back of his shirt all season, for crying out loud. How did nobody notice it?
Those of us in Premiership press boxes can’t exactly say Stevie May has been hiding in the shadows this season. So we’ve no excuse. Even before he got a trim, the hair still wasn’t long enough to cover up a big 1 and a 7.
St Johnstone kitman Tommy Campbell? He hangs the thing up on its peg every week, I imagine, so could he have not let on?
And what about the man himself? Surely the penny must have dropped a wee while ago when he was casting his mind forward to the end of the season. If nothing else, footballers always know the last day of the season better than their mum’s birthday so they’re able to book their fortnight in Ayia Napa.
Could he not have done the decent thing and told St Johnstone fans? It would have been a much more relaxing couple of months if they’d known it was nailed on all along that their team would be going to the Scottish Cup final for the first time in 130 years. And the rest of us could have made a killing at the bookies.
It’s probably just as well that Paul Sturrock isn’t the Dundee United manager these days.
This May 17 business would have kept him awake at night.
Sturrock’s fixation with the irrational was legendary. Anybody more afflicted by superstitions than Luggy wouldn’t manage to get out of the house in the morning.
I seem to remember Sturrock wearing John Davies’ coat every week until an unbeaten run was broken when he was Saints boss, and the poor team bus driver was never allowed to have a Saturday off for months, as he was deemed to be a lucky charm.
At Plymouth Argyle and Sheffield Wednesday for a while he took himself into the dressing room when injury time began. Not because he couldn’t bare to watch, but because he’d got so enraged by a couple of his players one afternoon that he stormed off, and his team then scored without him on the touchline.
It’s gone way beyond the lucky pants and socks.
I can only imagine what he was like as a player, going through a mental checklist of pre-match habits, trying to get the right sock on with the left hand, walking out behind the same player and goodness knows what else on a matchday. We can all remember Laurent Blanc kissing Fabian Barthez’s head before the start of every France match in the ‘98 World Cup. Who knows, maybe Hamish McAlpine’s moustache got a ritual trim and comb just before United left the dressing room.
Sturrock is far from alone in the world of football though when it comes to believing in superstitions and omens.
This is the stage of the season when beards routinely get left alone for fear of offending the promotion and relegation gods.
And how often do we hear, “it’s written in the stars” or “their name’s on the trophy”?
Even for those of us who tend to believe that being able to kick, control and head a football better than your opposing team has more to do with the outcome of a match than divine intervention are occasionally left with nothing more rational than “it was meant to be”.
The psychologist of the moment in sport just now, Dr Steve Peters, who has made his name with British cycling, Ronnie O’Sullivan (he earned his money there, that’s for sure) and most recently with Liverpool Football Club, is convinced that the irrational part of the mind can have a detrimental effect on an athlete.
Peters speaks about controlling the inner chimp the illogical part of the brain.
Well, there’s nothing more illogical than believing a football team will win their first Scottish Cup in 130 years because their star striker’s surname, his squad number and the date of the final all fit together in a marketing man’s dream package.
But there can be no-one more illogical than a footballer. And on the spook-ometer, the May 17 thing is at the top of the scale.
Tommy Wright has already said a few times “maybe this might just be our year”, or words to that effect. I’m not his press officer (or the team psychologist) but it wouldn’t be the worst idea to krank that up a bit in cup final week.
If Saints think it’s their fate to win, it certainly won’t do them any harm. If there are United players who have an inner chimp they need to throw a few bananas to, even better.
And wherever May plays his football next season his manager would do well to check the date of cup final day before he gets his squad number.