We all know that rape is rape, no means no and it is never okay to force someone to have sex against their will, right?
Wrong, according to the most recent Social Attitudes Survey. Here’s a depressing example from “Examining attitudes to violence against women in Scotland”: 42% of people think a woman is in some way to blame if she is raped after a night out where she was “wearing revealing clothing”. Numbers were similar for a female who was drunk when the crime was committed against her.
Around one in six people think the woman was more to blame than not if she put on something men apparently can’t control themselves around.
What a disgusting, shameful and downright dangerous thought process.
One positive is that 70% of those aged 18 to 29 years old thought the woman wearing revealing clothing was “not at all to blame” for being raped, although that still means a third of young people reckon wearing a low cut top or short skirt is in some way asking for it. Those numbers are almost reversed among the over-65s, with just 38% responding that a person is in no way responsible for being sexually assaulted because of how they dressed.
How do we change attitudes towards sexual violence? How do we shift away from the victim blaming which obviously still exists in our country today?
Great strides have been made towards equality between women and men but, as easy as this is for me to write as a middle class white man, there are huge steps still to be taken.
If you need further proof we still have a problem then go to your local nightclub on a Saturday evening to witness a meat market where people, usually women, are treated like commodities to be taken home at the end of the night.
I don’t mean to be a prude. There is nothing wrong with casual sex if it is consenting and safe.
Yet, according to the research, the proportion of people who saw stranger rape as “very seriously wrong” fell from 88% to 58% if they were given the additional information that the woman had taken the man into her bedroom and started kissing him before deciding she didn’t want to have sex after all. Apparently, it’s OK to take your sexual frustration out on an innocent party.
And in a fictional scenario put forward where a husband raped his wife, the proportion decreased from around three-quarters (74%) to less than half (44%). Such violently controlling and domineering attitudes are just as worrying, if not more so.
This is a psychological problem. Half of people surveyed thought a husband trying to stop his wife going out with friends was “very seriously wrong” and only 39% believed it was “very seriously wrong” for a man to tell his wife to change her clothes before going out.
The Scottish Government is taking action which, although it might not hog the headlines, could help further change attitudes.
As well as running the Equally Safe campaign, which aims to stamp out violence against women so they can “thrive as equal citizens”, Nicola Sturgeon has announced a specific criminal offence for those who commit psychological abuse and demonstrate coercive and controlling actions.
Hopefully, outlawing such conduct will largely stop it happening and a change in attitude will follow the change in behaviour.