Politics is show business for ugly people. At least it is according to Paul Begala, the former strategist to Bill Clinton and Al Gore, who coined the now-famous phrase all the way back in 1992.
It is true, to a certain extent at least. I don’t mean to insult the attractiveness of those whom we elect to represent us but it is definitely fair to say that a good number of them love nothing better than the theatre of it all.
This week has given us numerous examples of that. Take David Cameron’s negotiations about the terms of the UK’s membership of the EU as a prime case in point. Could anything have been more predictable than the plot that is currently playing out?
A whistle-stop tour of Europe is embarked on, with the aim of charming all the leaders of fellow member states as best as possible.
But wait! There is dissent! Will the PM secure the deal he so desperately seeks?
Tune in after the break to find outthat he is convinced he has.
So far, so predictable.
Yet that did not stop the Downing Street spin machine hyping up the talks whenever it was felt necessary to do so.
We in the press are compliant in this, panicking in print and wondering out loud what will come of such talks.
That is because it is important those in power are properly held to account.
Depressing as it may be, the game has to be played if you are to see through it clearly.
And there is method to politicians’ apparent madness.
Constructing such narratives and occasional hyperbole is not done for pure enjoyment, despite the fact many love it so.
It is done to try and con voters. It is done to make leaders of the day look like heroes or, if there is a more Machiavellian intent, it makes opponents look like evil oppressors.
This is self-evident with No. 10’s EU negotiations.
Make it look tough, find blood in the stone of Brussels, claim a hard-won victory in the face of some bureaucrats and win the referendum as enough people think you’ve done something extraordinary on their behalf.
It’s insulting to know strategists think this type of game could work. It is more depressing to realise that, often, it does, to devastating effect.
Up here in Scotland, the SNP are masters at the art.
It is a play that one could suggest is currently being staged with the Scotland Bill as the rather technical underpinning plot.
Both the Treasury and the Scottish Government’s finance team are locked in negotiations over the fiscal framework which will underpin the legislation.
It is complicated and difficult.
Meetings are also being held behind closed doors, in an effort to, seemingly, make it even less appealing to ordinary people.
With that in mind, Deputy First Minister John Swinney’s team has been out of the blocks, out-manoeuvring its Whitehall counterparts when it comes to the plot-thickening narrative.
First Minister Nicola Sturgeon set a deadline, firmly backing UK ministers into a corner. Then briefings emerged from the secret meetings, telling us the deal on the table was simply not fair.
Now we are eight days away from the end of the road as far as the SNP is concerned, despite Scottish Secretary David Mundell’s attempts to push the Valentine’s deadline back by a fortnight.
If no deal is agreed they will bat away accusations they have bottled taking more responsibility and powers for Scotland by saying it was big, bad
Westminster trying to rinse us for cash like the bandits they are.
Alternatively, an agreement is made and everyone is happy, with Swinney the hero. Heads I win, tails you lose.
It’s frustrating and you may understandably hate any one of the players but remember this: they all love the game.