If you fancy “tripe dissolved in twaddle” (and who, I find myself asking, in their right mind wouldn’t?) then my word, Thursday’s Courier is the place for you.
And for all you wags out there, don’t go thinking for a moment that just makes it a normal edition.
No, no, no, it’s because we have details of the rage emanating from plain English campaigners following a communication sent to parents by Dundee City Council.
It’s all about school catchment areas and the fact they are to change.
It really is a powder-keg document. Or is it?
Hard to tell when it includes paragraphs that run to more than 80 words and terms including “redelineation”.
Oof.
Our intrepid reporter has a go at translating the offending (to some) communication…
We also let the plain English society have their say. And suffice to say they are not impressed. In fact they are downright discombobulated.
Get the full story in your always erudite but never confusing Courier.
In other news, we bring it back to basics with details of some wonderful developments for local peh fans.
That’s right folks, a local firm has scooped the top gong for the quality of its Scotch pies.
And that’s not just a national title. No, it is a GLOBAL award.
You cannot find a better peh anywhere in the world than at a local emporium. And that’s official.
I’ll allow that to sink in for a moment.
…
Nope still hasn’t sunk in.
…
That’s better.
What a remarkable development.
If you don’t raise your eyes for matters relating to pies, don’t worry we have an array of other tasty treats for you.
For example, if I said to you, what is “bloated, Ermine coated, never been voted”, how would you respond?
Well, if you were Pete Wishart, you would say it is the House of Lords.
You might very well add (if you were still the former Runrig-star-turned-MP) that the institution is “ridiculous and absurd”.
If, after all this time, you were still Mr Wishart you might then compare said body to Game of Thrones.
But why?
Find out in Thursday’s knock-out Courier.
(You can stop being Pete Wishart now).
There has also been more bally white stuff falling from the sky.
We have all the latest on WHITE HELL (TM. All rights reserved).
Wonderful and indeed wondrous stuff in Thursday’s Courier. You will love it. I don’t say that lightly. I say it because I genuinely, genuinely believe it. Please do pick up your copy. Failing that, why not try our digital edition?