Heaven, heaven is a place where nothing ever happens.
So insisted David Byrne of Talking Heads fame anyway.
But Belinda Carlisle was quick to disagree, asserting it was, in stark contrast, a place on earth.
The former may (arguably) have been a finer songwriter, but the latter was correct.
As Belinda’s fans will know, she goes on to croon (in the unedited, lesser played extended mix) that heaven is a well-stocked newsagent on Tuesday morning.
From whence one can snap up a copy of a quite terrific Courier.
For starters we have plook news.
Of course, plooks aren’t particularly pleasant so it’s good news Courier Country hasn’t got anyway.
It was a close shave though.
The annual Plook on a Plinth Carbuncle award has been awarded to Aberdeen, despite “competition” from both Leven and Lochgelly.
It’s not the kind of publicity likely to feature in any tourism brochures and there was something of a collective sigh of relief in Fife following yesterday’s announcement.
Among those sighing was provost and Dunfermline FC legend Jim Leishman.
He can’t understand why Lochgelly was ever nominated in the first place, observing: “It’s super”.
Get the full story and reaction from The Courier newsroom’s resident Aberdonian in Tuesday’s Courier.
I suppose it’s not all bad for the Granite City though, after all it’s the only silverware likely to be heading north this year thanks to Dundee’s efforts in the Scottish Cup and Utd’s weekend League Cup exploits…
We also have news of the Arctic adventurer forced to reconsider his plans for a mammoth, record-breaking 1800 mile trek after it took him half and hour to crawl 120 metres.
But young Benno Rawlinson won’t be defeated by a bit of “rough ice”. No way.
We have all the latest.
If it’s a slice of history you are after, then my word we have an entire pie for you (lot of slices, you see) in the form of day two of our look at Pathe newsreel from Courier Country.
From royal visits to Tay Bridge construction, it really is fascinating stuff.
But don’t take my word for it (heaven forfend), just snap up Tuesday’s Courier and as Lloyd Webber reminds us seeing will indeed be believing.
Smoking.
A controversial topic.
But should it be banned in public places altogether, both indoor and out?
We investigate.
Tuesday’s Courier really is a veritable treasure trove. Please don’t miss out do pick up your copy. Failing that why not try our digital edition?