A wise woman once said: “The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.“
Wise she may well have been. But I have news. She was also WRONG.
You see there is a cure for curiosity.
And it comes in the shape of Tuesday’s simply tremendous Courier.
We answer literally hundreds of questions.
For example, you may find yourself wondering: “Who the heck is coming to Perth to help celebrate the switching on of the Fair City’s Christmas lights? Last year it was Mark Wright of TOWIE fame, who is now tripping the light fantastic on Strictly. I wonder who will be following in his footsteps? And, whomsoever it may be, I do rather wonder what the reaction will be.”
We hear your questions. And it is our very great pleasure to answer them with the revelation it is none other than Mysterious Girl crooner Peter Andre.
We find out what the good people of Perth and Kinross make of the decision and also have details of the galaxy of “stars” set to join the bronzed Adonis. Insania, or just the right Flava?
You can decide on perusing your copy of Britain’s best newspaper (not yet official).
Your curiosity, in that regard at least, sated, you may then be posing the following:
“At the top of this article (see above) it was hinted, suggested or otherwise insinuated that I would be able to read about some kind of miraculous occurrence. What on earth could the author mean?”
Well, allow me to explain.
We have news of the woman trapped in a submerged car amid appalling conditions last week.
She relives the ordeal and outlines details of her astonishing escape.
It really is a rather inspirational tale which and please do trust me when I assert this you would be jolly cross should you miss.
“Fair enough, but what about pies and golf club bans?” I hear you cry (with genuine interest, not in a teary way).
Readers can find out more about the world Scotch pie championships, judging for which will take place on Tuesday. It’s going to be ultra-competitive for upper-crust bakers from all over the world (but mostly Scotland to be fair). Eyes on the pies and all that.
Meanwhile, readers can meet the Dundee pensioner banned from local golf clubs after making a homophobic comment. He’s absolutely devastated.
Does the punishment fit the crime?
That’s an entirely subjective matter, but you can nevertheless answer the question to your own satisfaction on perusing Tuesday’s edition.
All that being said, I have one question for you, if you will permit me? (that wasn’t it). Why on earth would you miss it? (that’s it right there). It’s going to be an absolute corker. Please do snap up Tuesday’s Courier. It may very well be the best decision you ever make (I don’t care how far-fetched that sounds). If the print edition isn’t for you, why not try our replica digital edition? (I’ve sneaked in another question, sorry ‘bout that). It’s just like our print edition, but a replica digital edition. And that’s (as Paul Daniels so sagely noted) magic.