Things Germans do better than us:
– Football
– Economic recovery
– Princesses.
We know these things to be true because the facts are there before us.
As Coming Up scribbles this missive to preview Friday’s Courier, the ruthlessly efficient Nationalmannschaft are strolling towards another World Cup 2nd round.
And Europe’s industrial powerhouse is currently propping up half its fellow EU member states.
But princesses? Surely we have the fragrant Kate, the doughty Anne, the sadly-departed and nearly-sainted Diana?
It depends on your perspective. For while that bunch have admirable qualities, we doubt very much any of them have climbed railings in a state of undress at a boozy student bash.
And then grappled with first aiders, attempting to headbutt one, before being forcefully restrained and trussed up for the incoming Plod.
You can keep your Kate. All hail Her Serene Majesty Theodora Sayn-Wittgenstein (Teddy to pals), that’s our kind of future monarch.
Luckily she was in Dundee and we saw through her cunning pre-court disguise to get the full details of her antics. We share them with you on Friday.
We also followed the Commonwealth baton around Fife, enjoying high-jinks along the way and discovered the top ten toys set to be delivered to our kids this Christmas.
We didn’t understand a single one of them.
The concept of paying 70p to collect a copy of The Courier from a shop (or using a magic tablet device) remains within our grasp though. We suggest you stick to that.