What do you do with a (alleged) drunken sailor?
Do you:
(a) shave his belly with a rusty razor?
(b) put him in the longboat until he’s sober?
(c) stick him in the scrubbers with a hosepipe on him?
OR
(d) march him off to the sheriff court for a date with the beak?
If you can’t work out the answer, or merely want to find out more about the unusual case, be sure to set sail for the newsagent on Wednesday morning where you can pick up your copy of a particularly ship-shape midweek Courier.
Talking of swash-buckling adventures on the high seas (as I suppose I loosely was above, kind of) we also have the tale of the Dundee businessman who conquered the Atlantic for charity.
He travelled from New York to London while almost constantly at an awkward 45 degree angle.
The full story is in our well-travelled edition.
Would you like to know what the proposed new T in the Park site looks like from the air?
Of course you would. And you can if you snap up your copy of Scotland’s best newspaper (arguably).
We also have the very latest from yet another spectacular day at the Commonwealth Games. Scotland really is putting on rather a good show.
Meanwhile, have you eaten your five-a-day today?
If so, STOP. Don’t eat any more, it simply isn’t worth it. Or so boffins claim anyway. We investigate…
And if you drive a diesel car, we have news that may well make you go “grrr” with barely concealed rage. Which may not sound that tempting but I hope it is, at least, somewhat intriguing.
A wonderful Wednesday of discovery, education and enlightenment awaits our readers. Please do snap up your copy of The Courier. Alternatively, why the heck not give our digital edition a whirl?