Put down the pies people. Your leaders have spoken.
The UK is a nation of fatties. Burgers, fizzy pop, lard cake, we can’t get enough.
But one politician, featured heavily in Friday’s Courier, has a novel solution to the weighty problem just stop scoffing.
Lord Lawson of Blaby plain old Nigel Lawson when he was a member of 80s favourites, Thatcher’s Cabinet has taken his snout out of the House of Lords trough to cure the nation’s ills.
The peer says willpower, not cash, is the key to halting our expanding waistlines.
A former porker who lost a pile of weight and even wrote a dieting book to tell the proles how its done reckons the “just say no” approach is best.
We wonder if he’s told his saucy midnight fridge-bothering purveyor of cholestorol daughteryet?
Personally, we think a cake-induced broad base may not be a bad thing to have.
One can make then make like a Weeble, unlike sundry other high profile stars we feature in Friday’s Courier who have gone bum over nips in spectacular public fashion.
Just a bit of fun on the back of Madonna, you see.
We also cover weightier matters in Friday’s Courier including the latest twists in the T in the Park planning row and the Ninewells porter strike.
In sport, a St Johnstone midfielder is facing a spell on the sidelines with knee-knack and a Dundee United striker likewise with SFA compliance officer-gah.
All this and more in Friday’s doorstopper of a Courier.