As a man who often finds himself running late, I could sympathise with Alex Salmond as aides hurried him to his next Dundee appearance on Monday.
Then the thought struck: “This has taken an hour and a half and he’s walked less than half a mile.”
The internet tells me that walk should occupy a person for around seven minutes.
The hold-up? Someone seemed to have circulated the news that a fifth Beatle, or the lad with the hair from One Direction, had arrived and was outside Tesco (other supermarkets are available).
More than 100 “selfies” were taken, so the One Direction guess was probably more accurate.
I’ve never seen so many people want to hold a phone at arm’s length and get a dodgy picture taken.
From school kids to one man who looked in his 70s he rocked up twice by the way everyone who spotted the First Minister pixelated him.
It surprised me, but obviously not SNP staffers. One had a giant Yes sign he stuck in every picture he could. Honestly.
Not everyone was delighted, though.
One woman had a go over NHS “lies”, leading the First Minister to point out “the problem with the No campaign”. Not sure that’s what she was after.
But what of the poor busker playing his lonely mouthie? He lashed out Loch Lomond. He even roused Scotland The Brave.
But no meet and greet for him. Not even a glance across the street.
It seemed Mr Salmond is already banking that Dundee is dancing to his tune.