Darren Fletcher will lead Scotland out tonight for the crunch clash against Wales, thereby justifying the belief he had in himself to beat illness.
The Manchester United midfielder has had a brave battle with a chronic bowel disease and skippering the Scots in their World Cup qualifier at Cardiff City Stadium will be a huge personal victory for him, regardless of the result of the game.
For the first time in public, he revealed that the condition ulcerative colitis can come back at any time and, indeed, he has had to learn to live with the fact he will never totally beat it.
Management of diet and lifestyle as well medication is allowing him to do what he loves play football.
He always thought he would be back in the big time with his country and the whole nation will be hoping his presence can inspire Craig Levein’s men in a fixture they realistically need to win to have a chance of making it to Brazil 2014.
Despite all his experience, Fletcher admitted he feels like a rookie having been out for almost a year his last outing coming in Cyprus last November.
”When I played in my first reserve game for Manchester United the excitement levels were unbelievable,” said Fletcher. ”Then, obviously, it went up a few notches when I made my return to the United first team.
”However, to be back in a Scotland shirt? That’s another thing again. Just to be sitting here in the team hotel the night before the game it almost feels like I’m starting out all over again.
”Yes, I’ve got a lot more experience and there are things I know how to handle now but, in terms of my excitement levels, it feels like I’m about to win my first cap all over again.”
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”Because I was out for such a long time because there was doubt that I would ever be back it just feels amazing to be a part of it all again.”
Did Fletcher himself ever have any doubts, though?
”I didn’t doubt it, no,” he replied. ”I always felt I would be back. I think I needed to have that kind of attitude. There were other people who doubted it but, for me, to be here today I always needed to believe.
”I couldn’t let myself think I might not make it. I always told myself I’d be back one day and, fortunately, that’s the case. But it’s not been plain sailing along the way, by any stretch of the imagination.
”The reason I stopped in the first place was because I had to find out if it was playing football that was making me worse. When I realised that wasn’t the case, it was a good barrier to break down. I knew then that playing and training wasn’t making me worse it was just the illness in general.
”I was just as ill not playing in those six months as I had been when I was playing. That was significant because I knew for sure then that I wasn’t pushing myself too hard to play football. That had always been the doubt. Some people were even saying I was silly to be playing because I was making myself ill. But deep down I knew that wasn’t the case. The doctors just needed to find out if not playing would make me healthier. Then I would have been left with a decision to make.
”Do I want to play football or do I want to live a healthy life?” added the father-of-two. ”But I was always confident it wasn’t going to end that way. I always felt we would find a medication that would work. I just had to stay positive even though many people, maybe even the doctors, didn’t think I’d ever be back.”
With the illness accompanying him all the way, Fletcher revealed he has learned to cope.
”The condition never goes away and that’s the thing I have to live with now,” he added. ”Every day is a battle for me. I have to watch my diet and take certain medication or it could come back again.
”I am never going to be 100% and that’s something I’m going to have to learn to live with for the rest of my life. But the position I’m in now, compared to where I was? I’d gladly accept being like this for the rest of my life. It’s manageable.”