Those of you that have the pleasure of driving a Volkswagen will know that first gear and reverse sit next to each other in the automobiles’ gearbox.
This is an unusual oversight in German engineering. It is easy at least I find it easy to put the car into reverse rather than first when setting off at lights. Much to the sheer terror of the queuing traffic behind me, naturally.
The worst expression of this came in the first month of my driving where, admittedly a little hungover (don’t tell Police Scotland), I approached a steep hill start in Kirkcaldy.
Unphased, despite my relative inexperience, I slotted the car into (what I thought was) first, found the biting point and, with deluded confidence in my own abilities, set off.
I flew, almost literally, about 20 feet back. Luckily for the good people of the Lang Toun it was early in the morning and there was no one behind me.
I remember thinking then, after the shock had worn off, what a shame it was. It could have been the perfect hill start, if only I’d put the car in the right gear.
Watching England get thrashed by Australia this morning (they won by 111 runs), I couldn’t help but be reminded of the Volkswagen actually a Golf, ironically – and that hill in Kirkcaldy.
Having stayed up to listen to New Zealand versus Sri Lanka (where NZ made a strong statement of intent), I was again feeling a little rough around the edges.
And so to it seemed, were England.
They had a chance more than a chance, some would say to slap their ICC World Cup 2015 campaign right into first gear.
Having won the toss and elected to bowl, they should have taken the game to Australia, like captain Eoin Morgan said they would.
Yet their attack was weak. As during the recent Sri Lanka tour, misfielding left the England side rueing missed opportunities, most notably Chris Woakes dropping Aaron Finch on 0.
He would go on to score 135 runs England could have avoided chasing.
The bowling too, despite some initial success, lacked the variation that is essential against a side of Australia’s quality.
Then there was the batting, or lack there of. Like an overconfident, newly passed driver, the England top order revved a lot only to stall.
Four of England’s five top order batsmen were out for ten runs or fewer. Against any chase, that simply won’t cut the mustard.
The team, who will now face a strong New Zealand side on Friday, can, of course, scrape out some positives from the performance.
An unbeaten 98 from James Taylor, batting at six, which surely must change, is one. Another is Steve Finn’s hat-trick wickets – a World Cup first for England – taken in the last three balls of the game.
Either way, Morgan must make sure he puts the England team in the right gear for their next match or this World Cup could well be his last.
As former England batsman Geoffrey Boycott said of the performance: “Diplomatically speaking it was disappointing, but if you want it in straight Yorkshire: it was rubbish.
“England just didn’t seem to have the aggression and the intensity.”